Fresh decaf brewed and poured into my favorite mug. The sun beams through the sliding glass door as May finally brings warmth again to the north. I head toward the living room to snuggle with my son. All is well.
Suddenly my little one throws a fit at my feet and I bump the wall with my arm. Coffee splatters across the floor and my son dives to splash around in the new puddles.
No longer the perfect morning. I’m frustrated, soaked and now need to clean instead of relax. A sigh comes out loudly and turns into an annoyed groan. One that it hard to miss.
Reaching for towels to mop up my mess and attempting to keep my diaper bottomed boy from spreading it any further my daughter looks up at me and says in the sweetest voice,
“Mom, when I grow up I’m gonna have coffee and spill it just like you.”
I laugh. Then, suddenly her sincere reaction hits me. Yes, she probably will grow up and spill coffee and huff about it just like me. The mommy guilt comes in the room like a cloud when I realize yet again that she looks up to me. I cannot pick and choose the moments that she learns from.
She’s soaking in what I do and say every single moment.
Good and bad.
When I raise my voice in frustration.
When I read my Bible in front of her.
When I check the texts on my phone.
When I sit with her and read.
When my husband and I talk.
When I care for others.
When I apologize to her.
When I give encouraging words.
When I complain about my body image.
When I am anxious.
When I trust God.
& When I spill my coffee.
It is said that kids develop their world view by the age of 6. That’s the lense of what they believe is “normal” for the rest of their life. This is scary.
Nothing is ever picture perfect in our home. In those moments of glorious sunshine or puddles of coffee let me be a Mom that takes the time to apologize and explain to my kids what I did wrong. Let me be a Mom that displays humility, forgiveness and grace.
I pray that in those moments of chaos that God shines through and He is able to make beautiful moments out of the messes I make. Jesus, may they grow to follow and trust in You and the grace you so generously give us! I cannot do any of this in my own strength. I need You God.
So I say, live by the Holy Spirit’s power. Then you will not do what your sinful nature wants you to do. ~ Galatians 5:16 NIRV