I am nervously writing this post thinking that some of you will take this to heart and think I’m talking about me. I can honestly say that God is healing my ache and I am more blessed than ever seeing friendships bloom and overwhelmed by support. This is something I feel like I am supposed to write for those who have a quiet voice.
I’ve been praying and thinking about a lot of things lately. Conversations with my Mom about her cancer treatments wrapping up, friends heading back to work full time, moving past a miscarriage, and more. It seems that whatever our “rock your world” experience may be, good or bad, it’s difficult to move on. (I don’t like that phrase….I think moving forward is a better way to say it. Moving on makes me feel like you are supposed to drop things and forget them.)
Whether we like it or not things happen and leave an imprint in our lives. It’s what we do with these imprints that becomes the challenge as we live each day. We can choose to cling to bitterness and envy or open our hearts to Jesus’ healing.
It seems that when we are in the middle of a big moment in our lives there are often a few people around to support. As the days and weeks pass, it’s assumed that we’re fine. Life moves faster than ever and people forget. There’s a place of expectation for ourselves to “suck it up” and realize that everyone has to deal with things. An expectation to jump forward and forget the past. We may even put unrealistic expectations on others to help us heal. Or maybe the one we’re trying to lean on is also the one that 2o others are leaning on as well.
Moving past a life-changing experience takes time, patience and prayer. It’s something that only God can truly heal.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~ Psalm 147:3
My challenge for you this week is to:
- Think of those people that may have lost a loved one 6 months ago and send them a card. Chances are they’re still grieving in one way or another and would appreciate knowing they’re in your thoughts and prayers. When the cards and meals stop, the heart does not.
- Pick up the phone 4 weeks after the birth of a baby and check in on the momma. See how she’s handling the sleepless nights.
- Find the college student that went on a mission trip 6 months ago and ask how their life has changed. Ask how they are coping with being back “home.”
If you’re hurting - lean on God. If you don’t know what that means or looks like, ask. Be honest with someone in your life, ask for help.
I’m just afraid I’ve been guilty of putting a timeline on things and return to my life, forgetting the struggles others may be in. Through my recent pain I’ve been awakened to so many hurting in my small circle. God is the ultimate Healer and Counselor, and we are called to love one another. What does that look like for you right now? How do we share our lives with others and help them heal with God?
I write what is on my heart. You'll find me sharing my not-so-perfect journey with my faith, family, life and home. Find me on Instagram and Periscope as well.
Friend, I so love your extra-loving heart. These are excellent ways to show kindness that, in my opinion, could change someone’s week. Thanks for the reminder.
Love ya!
Thank you friend. I tell you this heart has been replaced by God….you don’t wanna meet my old one
I know it sounds cheesy, but so real =)
Well-said, Virginia! You are right on about how often the world around someone hurting seems to move on and it’s easy to feel left behind. I struggled with that for 2 years after losing my mom before I realized that grief is cyclical rather than a step 1-2-3 and so on. Thanks for this reminder to check in with those 6 months after a loss, mothers a month or so after their baby has arrived, etc.
Your inner beauty shines in this post, lady!
Well put Beth. I didn’t think of it being cyclical. I have grieved for you this summer about the loss of your mom so many years ago. You’ve been on my heart.
I love the reminder that we need to look out for each other. It does seem hard sometimes to ask after a painful season, almost as if asking will open old wounds, so sometimes we tiptoe around them. But these little gestures help to show that we are still there, walking alongside in prayer and caring and heart. Love your heart, friend and pray it is healing in God’s hands.
It is hard knowing when to say something and when not to. Maybe that’s why I like sending cards, they’re an easy way to say you’re thinking of them, but not putting them on the spot to burst into tears or bitterness. Depending on the person/relationship I can ask in person. What do you do?
Thank you for your thoughts. I lost my Aunt 11 years ago and there are still times that I think about her. It is hard but I know that she is heaven. Sometimes we move on and yet pieces of our heart and mind will ALWAYS be in that special place of loss or life event no matter where life takes us.
again thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts.
Jessica
My mom always said to take a meal to a new mother-about 4-6 weeks after the birth. Things are still adjusting, and you are expected to cope. Great thoughts. I have missed your posts, and am praying for you!
Sorry for the slow reply - What a great idea to just plan to send the meal late! I am glad to slowly be getting back to things as well. Looking forward to riding together to Influence Conference. I’m digging through my emails and searching for one I thought you sent. I cannot find it. Could you resend it please? =)
This is such a good reminder. I think that we are all often guilty of forgetting when the person going through the situation is still remembering. Thanks, Virginia, for reminding us all.
Sorry for the slow reply - Thank you Johanna!
Love this and your sweet heart! I’m taking your challenge…I think it’s a great one and will make such a difference in those lives! Thank you for your words!
Love your heart as well =) How’d it go!?
thank you for this fresh reminder to reach out and love someone well today.
xoxo virginia.
Thank you Melissa!
Your heart is so lovely! I’m honoured to be getting to know you more.
My co-worker just experience the one year anniversary of his dad’s passing from cancer - and that same co-worker is battling the same cancer himself. After our shifts ended we were sitting together and we chatted for about 10 minutes about how he’s handling things. I can’t begin to imagine how hard things but be, to be suffering the same illness that just caused you to bury a parent.
At the end of our conversation he thanked me… I guess not everyone knows how to talk to him and so some just totally steer clear of the conversation. I think he feels better when he can talk about things. I’m glad I could give him a shoulder to lean on.
Krysten, I’m sorry for the late reply. That is a sad situation, but what an amazing thing to be able to be there and listen. Such a privilege. Have you been able to have more conversations?
Honored to know you. Your words of wisdom are much appreciated.
Thank you brenda. I’m blessed to call you friend!
Oh V…..I look up to you….I draw so much encouragement from you….you are wise beyond MY years…..and that’s a LOT of wisdom! Love you…keeping.. you in my prayers
Alice, thank you….you know it’s not my wisdom. I pray that God gives me the words. That’s why some weeks I don’t have much to say because I don’t want to write just to write. love you too! So glad we have become friends!