I mention the Influence Conference in this post. I understand that most of you did not attend. Please know that what I’m writing applies to everyday life.
Grace, undeserved favor.
It’s a word that is thrown around and I wonder if it is truly used much outside of God’s grace to us.
The first night I wandered down to the stripes party in a dress that didn’t fit well (it was maternity actually). I began sweating and my bangs stuck to my forehead in chunks. My nerves had taken over and I did everything not to beg the two I was with to stand in a corner with me. In the past I have been known to hold back in larger crowds until I get to know the room and begin to feel comfortable.
God didn’t let me crawl into my shell.
I began to recognize that I was not the only one there that felt nervous. In that moment, God moved me, spoke to my heart, “Go seek others out. Sloppy hair, dress and all. This weekend is not about you, it’s about Me. Go. Talk to others and make them feel comfortable.”
My first response was, No God, there are community leaders for this. They are here with cute nametags to make people like me feel comfortable.
& God pushed me.
& I am forever grateful.
I left the few amazing women I had clung to for 20 minutes and began introducing myself. Outside of my comfort zone I approached people I knew only by tiny pictures online, or not at all.
This is where it could have gotten sticky. I felt like God gave me new eyes this weekend, a look into others’ situations.
Some are dying inside to find someone in the room that knows them, someone who intimately knows them past their twitter handle and blog name. Out of desperation to find community in the midst of awkwardness and insecurity they walk right by.
Some are worn out and “black out,” walking away to take care of themselves. A person or two may be waiting, but out of exhaustion they were not seen or maybe just can’t say no. Walking away hoping that they go unnoticed.
Out of fear some become obnoxious (I didn’t find that this weekend, but have in other situations). It’s a nervous reaction to wanting to be liked.
As I debriefed with the women I rode home with I shared that I would hope that I didn’t offend someone, but I may have. No, I probably did offend someone. Knowing this makes my stomach drop. I’m sure we all had offended at least one person and that’s where grace comes in.
Let’s remember the amazing moments that God spoke to us through another person. Focus on the generosity of the group that invites you in. Give grace in situations where people find comfort in sticking with a person or two the entire time. Don’t assume people are trying to avoid or exclude. The reality is that they may not see the desire to connect with them, or they may be dealing with their own lack of energy or shyness.
In a situation like this ask God to take away judgement and give you boldness and wisdom. Display courage instead of caution.
Let us give grace and learn to accept it when it’s offered.
How do you handle yourself in crowds of people? Are you outgoing or an introvert?
Did you like this? Why don’t you share!
I'm Virginia & so glad you're here! You'll find me writing about my not-so-perfect journey with my faith, family, life and home. Stick around, comment and join the conversations.
I love meeting new friends!
I love this V. I had a hard time at Influence off and on and I know that it was my believing lies about myself that I didn’t belong. I never felt like it was any one else’s actions that made it so, it”s just that sometimes we deal with those inner critics and forget to trust God. I just got back from Allume and it was an entirely different experience, but I think in a lot of ways, the work God did in my heart at Influence helped pave the way for my attitude at Allume. Lots more grace for myself. Lots more confidence in Him. This is so needed as we all tend to struggle when faced with these kinds of situations. Love you and your generous heart.
I swear I had this in my drafts before you wrote your post and it is in no way in response to yours =) Just how God was working on me. I would love to go to Allume and it sounds like an amazing time! Maybe next year? I love you friend!
Virginia, I really appreciated this post. I knew about 8 others who were going to the conference since we were locals and I did stick with them most of the time as a comfort. It’s hard to give ourselves grace to be in an awkward conversation start-up when you’re afraid you’ll say something weird. Thanks for sharing this.
PS-I don’t think we officially met at the conference, but we sat together on Saturday’s breakfast. Would have like to have chatted with you!
I’m sorry we didn’t get to get to talk! That is so great that you had friends there! Are you going next year?
I loved this! I didn’t go to the conference (but wish I could have after reading everyones raves about it!). But this totally describes me. “In a situation like this ask God to take away judgement and give you boldness and wisdom. Display courage instead of caution.” Yes yes yes, sister. Courage instead of caution. Being bold when we are prompted by the Spirit. Thanks for sharing!